A Nice Visit & Birth Day Week

This week marks the anniversary of the day I was born. I am trying to embrace this time, even though I developed a fear of birthdays 9 years ago. When I turned 30, I went into a deep depression about leaving my 20's. Ever since then, I try to downplay my birthdays. But this year, as I turn 39, I will contemplate a new decade I will begin a year from now.

My parents came out from Detroit to spend time with me and the kids for my birthday. We celebrated by going to a nice Mexican Restuarant and we watched a lot of movies on DVD, and I have been recovering from Strep Throat. I am finally recovering from Strep and I got my energy back. Today, I worked out 2 hours. I really needed that workout. I feel wonderful and I am thinking that the closer to 40 I get, it may not be that bad. I am going to be starting my life over. I have a new freind in my life. I think I can do this.

Speaking of friend, I will be going to dinner and shopping with MA on my birthday this Tuesday. I am really looking forward to this. He is such a blessing in my life. Even though he is not ready for a relationship beyond what it is now, I still hope one day he will change his mind. But I think right now, he just doesn't want to be a rebound, and I am just getting out of a marriage that was mentally abusive and that maybe he thinks my head isn't in it's right place. Plus, he is getting his life in order as well. But, I will stick by his side, and wait it out. I know he doesn't want to get hurt and I know I don't either.

I contemplate him and all my relationships that are in my life right now. My parents, my children, my STBE, MA, God and especially myself. I still crave affection and companionaship and I will wait until the time is right and when it is, I will know.

So, here is a *song that I have been playing today, that has gotten me through the day.  It's by Adam Lambert and it's important to everyone in my life. Because in a way, each of the named people above know me better than I know myself. So, maybe it's time I start knowing myself better? I have purchased some important books on life and healing whats left of it and I know that I will be OK. I have the skills and the friends.
*Better Than I Know Myself is by Adam Lambert and I DO NOT own any part of this song.