Beautiful Disaster, but More Like Beautiful Chaos

It takes someone just seconds to walk into your life, say hello, and become friends, but it takes forever to say good-bye to someone. Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him. I try to comprehend our friendship and what I am really sad about tonight. I am shut out! Completely shut out, from everything. I am not having that warm and fuzzy feeling about anything regarding him. Things "seemed" to be going well. Things were misleading. My emotions are deceiving. This song reminds me of him but he's more like my beautiful chaos. NO, I'm not in love, but I am mourning what I think would be a great "relationship" friendly or otherwise. I don't know what I am going to do? I haven't decided how to proceed. But I am one for reading in-between the lines and what is there is really SCARY!

"Beautiful Disaster"

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with                                                 some of the song was cut short for TV
More damage than a soul should see 
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on                                some of the song was cut short for TV
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm searching for some kind of miracle                    Starts back up here in video
Waited so long
I've waited so long

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take

Oh when I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

[Fading]
Beautiful
(Beautiful disaster)
Beautiful disaster

http://youtu.be/MmcdK9IKZsY  <----------whole version with no TV edits

*Kelly Clarkson singing on American Idol her song Beautiful Disaster. I do not own it, did not write it, and claim no copyrights. I am just using the song in a blog, because it is a beautiful song and reminds me on someone I know. Here's the WHOLE version without edits if you're curious. http://youtu.be/MmcdK9IKZsY