He's Hiding From Me Again!

Don't ask how I know these things, but I just do. MA is hiding from me again! I obviously done something to offend him. I seem to offend people close to me by being either overly nice, too cuddly, too needy or just annoyingly flaky. Which ever, probably all three, overly offended him, I am so sorry. I missed him at group today. But I hope he's feeling better. I worry about him. Why? I don't know? I just worry about the people I care about.

He visited a place a few days ago that I think is helping him cope with some of the issues he's been dealing with. I wish it was me that was doing that for him, but I understand he needed to not know them.  Since this is my personal blog, I can let my feelings flow freely. I can't help but feel just a tad bit jealous. Again, this is not a reasonable reaction. I am trying to understand and work through these feelings when they come up. I swear, I could write a soap opera or drama or even a sitcom with my life. HMMM... maybe I should?

Anyway, I had a good day. Nothing too crazy happened. No D#1 drama, and STBE was a little pissy with me. (What else is new? I call him Mr Crabs in my mind) I just basically spent 3 hours making a list of all my favorite Kelly Clarkson Live Performances and another CD of Various Artists Live Performances and I can't wait to use them as a relaxation tool. I am making a third right now.

I worked out awesome today. But I can't wait until my Rebounder Trampoline comes. It's due to arrive on Monday. Back to jogging full force again and my knees will be thankful. But I sweat like a PIG doing these exercises I am doing right now. A mixture of dance, pilates, Bikram Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, Floor Exercises for Abs, legs and thighs/butt and Weight Training. I may start the Brazillion Butt Lift DVD? But it's really hard. I also did some Tai Chi I learned from my ex in TN. I am really feeling the strength and my clear mind. Better days, less depressed. I see the shrink on Monday, maybe he can drop my Lexapro to 10 mg's so I can have orgasms? I think this is why I haven't had one in MONTHS!!! I am surprised bats and cobwebs don't come out of my coochie-coo!!!!!

I also need to talk to MA about something that is bothering me again in the back of my mind. I think we are both hiding from each other. I need to ask a favor of him. I already know the answer, it will be NO, but it can't hurt asking. I might get a surprize!!! It's a big step on his part and his retreat is coming up, he will have time to think about it and reflect. I already asked if he'd go to a Kelly Clarkson Concert. (I'd die to go, she's the BEST!!!!!!) He said NO, so it was no biggie. Anyway, I need to talk to him.
I love you my fellow bloggers. My Ambien ladden brain is full of love and is telling me to get off this blog/PC before I reveal too many secrets. SHHHH!!!!!

If I had You LIVE on OPRAH! I don't own any rights to this song!
Me Sleepy. Baby, if I had you, you'd be spoiled and never having to want again. Your body would be content and relaxed and knowing you don't have to worry about me leaving you. I could never! That is Secret #1....closing out!