Before I get into this, I'd like to emphasize something: my ideas come from my experience; yours must differ, just as your life experience differs from mine. Mine work for me (or they get changed). If they work for you, fine - if they don't, well, that's ok - it just means that you are in a different place than I am at this present moment. Please note that in the following I am not advising you; I am not saying that you ought to do things differently than you do. I am just presenting some ideas for your consideration. You may or may not find them useful. I am not saying you are a Psychic Vampire or are crazy. I am just going on my own experiences here and my intuition.
There are problems with shielding and reasons why so many healers, intuitives, and sensitives have so much trouble with it. Fundamentally, there seems to be two basic kinds of people. There are those who wear their energy field (aura and more) like armor, and it protects them from other people's energies. And there are those who use their energy field for an instrument of sensitivity, who reach out and "touch" with it, who are often "over sensitive" to other people's energies. There are also the people who started out armored, perhaps for many years, who through illness or other damage to the nervous system or through emotional trauma seem to lose the armor and become "over sensitive". I fall in the latter category. I am too damn sensitive and need to up my shield quite a bit more. (I'll talk about this in a later post. It all centers on my being a Psychic Vampire or what I believe I am.) The armored people often have to struggle and struggle as children (and sometimes as adults) to learn to be aware of other people as being real and as having valid needs and desires of their own, and to appropriately balance the needs and wants of others and their own. These people usually know very well what they want. (I suspect we all have some trouble about being all that clear about what we "need".) The sensitive people have no problem with recognizing the needs and wants of others. Their struggle is to learn to be clearly aware of their OWN valid needs and desires - and to keep the two sides in an appropriate balance. (me 100% guilty) Ok, then - so, obviously, the armored people just naturally are shielded, and the sensitives are not. To a naturally shielded person, the idea of taking down the shield may seem scary, even foolhardy - why would anyone want to do that? But to a sensitive, walking around with shielding on is like wearing earplugs and a blindfold - empathy, an essential sense (one we are unconsciously used to relying on) is missing. I remember all too well the first time I got really shielded. My Instructor or Light Guider talked me through a visualization that included green light, pink light, white light, and concrete bunkers. It was wonderful! It was so quiet in there, like living in a silent pink fog. Er. It was awfully quiet in there... Then I wanted to know what someone really meant and was really feeling when she said something to me and I, without quite knowing what I was doing, made a little peep hole in the armor. Then I wanted to figure out something else - voila! - another peep hole. Ooops. Pretty soon I had fishnet where the bunker had been. Sigh. So I talked to some people who understood these things, and they said that, of course, I could use shielding temporarily, but that I would always destroy it again because I wanted to see, to sense, to know what was going on. There was a better way - the only problem was that it is harder to do. (The story of my life... the story of yours too? Yeah, I thought so...) More later on..........
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