I first want to describe exactly what playing cat and mouse really means. So I enlisted the help of Wikipedia again and it states
"Cat and mouse, often expressed as cat-and-mouse game, is an English-language idiom dating back to 1675 that means "a contrived action involving constant pursuit, near captures, and repeated escapes."[1] The "cat" is unable to secure a definitive victory over the "mouse", who despite not being able to defeat the cat, is able to avoid capture. In extreme cases, the idiom may imply that the contest is never-ending. The term is derived from the hunting behavior of domestic cats, which often appear to "play" with prey by releasing it after capture. This behavior is due to an instinctive imperative to ensure that the prey is weak enough to be killed without endangering the cat.[2]"
Now, I am gonna use this idiom in a context that refers to me and my friend, MA. I have been "seeing" him, mostly as friends, with the exception of a hot and heavy session in my loft, which more befuddled me than anything since he is so against any physical pleasures at the moment. I liked it, and I think he did too, which scared him and I also think we'd have great sexual chemistry, but neither of us is ready for the actual "doing of the deed" as much as I hiss and moan about wanting it. If I can get him to disassociate sex and a steady relationship, maybe things can work out on that level? I like how things are when we are together having coffee, seeing movies in the dark theater holding hands and occasional hugs and pecks on the lips. It makes me feel wanted in ways that don't involve "can you make me a sandwich, can you drive me to McDonalds or can you give me $5 bucks"
MA tends to disappear after I see him, and he does try to hold off any advance I give to him, like with the popcorn and pop. He holds onto that stuff like it's a ticking time-bomb ready to explode to avoid any hand holding with me, but once he gets past his fear and I say fear, because before he grabs my hand, he shakes like one of them Chihuahua dogs. The hand holding feels great, it's comforting more than anything. I know he cares about me, I can feel it in his touches and see it in his eyes, but he is fighting any attraction he has for me, which leads me to the Cat and Mouse chase we got going on.
The women in his past, haven't been the best to him, often running hot and cold with him, but I know he didn't make husband of the year award either. Not to many of us can make that our claim to fame. I certainly wasn't that in my marriage either. He has been divorced a year now, so this is still very new to him. The whole point is he was very hurt in all of his relationships and he just doesn't want to go down that path again and get hurt. I understand that. I try to distance myself emotionally from him at times, but I always wish it was him sitting across or next to me. I am getting tired of acting like I don't care. Sometimes I ask "can a guy like him ever love a woman who loves him back, properly?" OR "do you think he is destined to always fall for women who don't love him equally?" "Are his standards too high?"
No, I am not in love with him. I am currently numb to love. I am just saying I am keeping my head about me when venturing into MA territory. I know in advance he tells me he will never commit to another "relationship" again. So going into this thing is like a crap shoot or maybe even Russian Roulette Odds? I'm no stats nerd, but if you don't respin the cylinder the odds increase with each trigger pull. If I act like I like him, he disappears and if I keep things casual and act like I don't care, he'll text me.
Sadly, I know the answer. He has issues and unless I'm willing to go through the hot/cold of him, I'm not ever going to be fulfilled. I WILL NOT mistake the compassion I feel toward him as love. We have tentative plans to go out for coffee tomorrow, if I get out of the lawyers office in time to go.
In the meantime.... hey Mouse, give me a piece of cheese, will you?
"Cat and mouse, often expressed as cat-and-mouse game, is an English-language idiom dating back to 1675 that means "a contrived action involving constant pursuit, near captures, and repeated escapes."[1] The "cat" is unable to secure a definitive victory over the "mouse", who despite not being able to defeat the cat, is able to avoid capture. In extreme cases, the idiom may imply that the contest is never-ending. The term is derived from the hunting behavior of domestic cats, which often appear to "play" with prey by releasing it after capture. This behavior is due to an instinctive imperative to ensure that the prey is weak enough to be killed without endangering the cat.[2]"
Now, I am gonna use this idiom in a context that refers to me and my friend, MA. I have been "seeing" him, mostly as friends, with the exception of a hot and heavy session in my loft, which more befuddled me than anything since he is so against any physical pleasures at the moment. I liked it, and I think he did too, which scared him and I also think we'd have great sexual chemistry, but neither of us is ready for the actual "doing of the deed" as much as I hiss and moan about wanting it. If I can get him to disassociate sex and a steady relationship, maybe things can work out on that level? I like how things are when we are together having coffee, seeing movies in the dark theater holding hands and occasional hugs and pecks on the lips. It makes me feel wanted in ways that don't involve "can you make me a sandwich, can you drive me to McDonalds or can you give me $5 bucks"
MA tends to disappear after I see him, and he does try to hold off any advance I give to him, like with the popcorn and pop. He holds onto that stuff like it's a ticking time-bomb ready to explode to avoid any hand holding with me, but once he gets past his fear and I say fear, because before he grabs my hand, he shakes like one of them Chihuahua dogs. The hand holding feels great, it's comforting more than anything. I know he cares about me, I can feel it in his touches and see it in his eyes, but he is fighting any attraction he has for me, which leads me to the Cat and Mouse chase we got going on.
The women in his past, haven't been the best to him, often running hot and cold with him, but I know he didn't make husband of the year award either. Not to many of us can make that our claim to fame. I certainly wasn't that in my marriage either. He has been divorced a year now, so this is still very new to him. The whole point is he was very hurt in all of his relationships and he just doesn't want to go down that path again and get hurt. I understand that. I try to distance myself emotionally from him at times, but I always wish it was him sitting across or next to me. I am getting tired of acting like I don't care. Sometimes I ask "can a guy like him ever love a woman who loves him back, properly?" OR "do you think he is destined to always fall for women who don't love him equally?" "Are his standards too high?"
No, I am not in love with him. I am currently numb to love. I am just saying I am keeping my head about me when venturing into MA territory. I know in advance he tells me he will never commit to another "relationship" again. So going into this thing is like a crap shoot or maybe even Russian Roulette Odds? I'm no stats nerd, but if you don't respin the cylinder the odds increase with each trigger pull. If I act like I like him, he disappears and if I keep things casual and act like I don't care, he'll text me.
Sadly, I know the answer. He has issues and unless I'm willing to go through the hot/cold of him, I'm not ever going to be fulfilled. I WILL NOT mistake the compassion I feel toward him as love. We have tentative plans to go out for coffee tomorrow, if I get out of the lawyers office in time to go.
In the meantime.... hey Mouse, give me a piece of cheese, will you?
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