Today, I went to my Post Op Doc for an exam at how I am healing. In which he said "remarkably".
What does that even mean? But I know that the dictionary says REMARKABLE as: "worthy of being or likely to be noticed especially as being uncommon or extraordinary"
Well, there is NOTHING remarkable about me, the only thing I can conceive why I did heal so quickly is by sheer self will and my pride in not letting people do things for me. I sure hope when I'm 101 that I don't need anyone wiping my ass and feeding me or I suppose I'd rather be dead! I'm stubborn like that. That's how I roll.
So, this is what he has told me. I can START to slowly resume normal activity, no heavy lifting yet, but I can get back into some housework. (aw, I already started this one....shhhhh) and he told me that I can exercise a little like walking, stretching and mild dancing (again, shhhhh, I've been doing this for a week now too) and then the dreaded clearance on sexual activity. We talked great lengths about this, maybe cause I had numerous questions and a little fear going on.
He told me that I can resume sexual activity as TOLERATED in ONE WEEK!!! WHAT? No January 21st? Is he crazy? Maybe cause I told him about my experience a couple nights ago. Part of being an ANOMINOUS blog is I can write about whatever the hell I want without it coming back and biting me in the ass and I don't have to name names. But the other day, I got a bit hot and heavy with someone and the whole next day I felt the hurt. The kissing was amazing, the touching, the spooning, I haven't been touched like that in a long, long, LONG time. He was amazing!!!! But the grinding, hell, my pubic bone I think it still bruised, I guess bruised in a good way, but I did have to tell my doctor that it was sore today cause I had a hot and heavy moment. He just laughed and said to just listen to my body. HA! If I was listening to my body that night, he'd probably be stitching me up today because the guy I am speaking of was hard as steel or marble like Michelangelo's Statue of David. It would totally ruin my stubborn nature and "remarkable" healing if it went any farther than that, I think it would hurt me. I told the doc I can't even put the cream he gave me in yet. (in which he remedied for me and I will mention later) So, when I see him in a month, he wants me to TRY to see if I can resume sexual intercourse either with my fingers, vibrator or with a partner, and see if maybe I developed an excess of scar tissue which will cause pain and if so, there is medication for that. I thought that was what lube was fore? But today, that didn't even help. (He did, stick his fingers in me and I about jumped off the table and he said I am definitely not ready.) Thank you very much! He even put the cream in. I need to stretch it some or else I will become so tight that sex will be nearly impossible psychologically. He told me I need to take a mirror and look at myself down there, and massage it in circles, or have my significant other do that, which made me blush. It's supposed to help and I need to stretch it but he is also afraid that I am psychologically making myself fearful of sexual activity. Ah NO, cause I actually love to have sex, I JUST DON'T WANT IT TO HURT!!! Don't overanalyze me Sigmond Doc!!! lol
The doctor was only concerned with my lifting things. Typical man!!!!! OH, and he wants to give me a tummy tuck. When I go to my Hernia Doctor for my surgery in the Spring, he said he wants to be on hand for this surgery with Dr. O'Brien and it would be covered under post operative measures and my insurance will cover all but the co-pay that because I lost a lot of weight, the flap when I sit up is BOTHERING HIM!!!! What? He told me this is entirely up to me. This reminds me of the movie "Click" What do you all think? Should I get the tummy tuck or let nature takes it's course and be a bit saggy. He said that saggy skin stinks when sweaty. Now I REALLY don't want to have sex. I am pondering this tummy tuck business, I have 4 months to decide. All feedback will be welcome!!!!!
I will see him next month, and I can tell you how it will go. I will be a virgin again so to speak. I am so afraid to be taken in that way. If I had someone that would work with me on helping me "get over" this fear of being hurt, ripped, or, and I will be dramatic here: GORGED, I would be less fearful. We will see? I am not looking that far in the future. But the tummy tuck is looking more appeasing as I think about this sex business.
So, over and all, I got a good bill of health. No infections. I just have major vaginal and anal sensitivity. I wonder when it will fully heal? After having my one daughter, I ripped so bad it took me 6 months to even get it in and then I begged for it to stop. Anxiety, Anxiety, Anxiety!!!!! Will I be defective the rest of my life, in my sexual prime??? Now for real the doctor would laugh at me. But still?
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