Splendor in Knowing the Truth (Not for children)

Merry Holidaze to all my fellow readers!!!! As a present to you, I will tell you all about me and my deepest secrets. This should be liberating and possibly a little boring or exciting for some?

I lost my TRUE virginity at 16 and a HALF!!!  Someone stole my cherry unwillingly when I was 8 or 9. FUCKER!!!!!!

I never had an intercourse orgasim, as far as I know.

I can only cum with fingers, and vibrators and kissing

I love giving oral sex and even like swallowing but when it's performed on me, I have a major anxiety attack, dry up and want to run for cover.

Yes, I had Cunninglitis performed on me, but 2 people actually did it very well, but I still didn't cum. Damn anxiety!

I know how to give an awesome lap dance

I also give amazing blow jobs I am told.

Having sex in public is a turn on

I love tying up my lovers and blindfolding them and being spanked. Sometimes I like to be forced and lightly choked and have my hair pulled.

I used to strip in an amateur burlesgue show with pasties and was pretty darn good at it :-)

I like to be on top a lot during sex, it makes me feel in control.

I never turn down a challenge

I love playing sports and getting dirty

I love hiking

My favorite beverage is water, followed by an Au Leit coffee

I prefer eating fruits, veggies and seafood.

I love holding hands and snuggling, even over intercourse.

I can kiss for hours until my lips nearly fall off and there is no such thing as bad kissing, just uninformed kissing and when I get down with you, you'll be a master at it.

I once made someone cum without even touching his sexual organ.

I am German, Polish, Irish and English

I could live happily on a deserted island with someone I am interested in and not care about electronics, or even a flushing toilet for that matter. Just some books and water. I don't even need clothes.

I secretly wish I could move to a nudist colony and hopefully one day, could join one on a vacation.

I am terrified of spiders, heights and wool (especially when I am sweaty)

I am allergic to bees (my aunt died being stung by a bee and was brought back)

I love to read and the last book I read was First Love, Last Rites by Ian McEwan (such a twisted book on sexuality)

I've had a golden shower and wasn't afraid of it.

When I was a kid, I used to masturbate every night to fall asleep. (Now I use Ambien) <--go figure

My favorite colors are blue, purple and kelly green

My dream is to own a kelly green and black mustang

My first car I learned on and owned was a 1987 Mustang 5.0 no A/C super fast!!!

I just sold my purple Mustang "The Purple Princess" I still cry over it

I been married twice and never been proposed to. It still stings.

I am legally seperated and going through a divorce and will probably never marry again, but if someone who REALLY loves me and proposes to ME, I might consider the 3rd time a charm but the thought causes anxiety now.

I love making out to old 70's and 80's songs like REO Speedwagon, Chicago, Journey and anything sexy.

I was a dancer almost my whole life from tap, jazz, ballet, to pointe.

I was in gymnastics for 5 years

I was in figure skating for 3 years

I played the organ and piano

I love ALL animals, but my favorite is a bunny. I miss you Benji my black bunny named after the lead singer of Good Charlotte.

I have a dog named Freddie and a cat named Harlow

I secretly wanted to have ONE more baby, but can't since I had a total hysterectomy.

I am a recovering food addict and used to overindulge when unhappy

I sleep alone right now and HATE it

I want to take a road trip, blar my music and bring a friend and for 1 week not have a care in the world.

When I was growing up I wanted to be a Forensic Psychologist enrolled in U of M Dearborn but got pregnant and dropped out.

My second choice was in Commercial Advertising and I wanted to go to Ferris State

I love Vampires and feel I am an Emotional or Psychic Vampire. I feel I absorb the energy from the people around me and it's not always a good thing cause I can get easily overwelmed.

I am obsessed with Vampires and want to be a real one, yes....sanguinarian vampirism. I will write about my vampirism in one of my next blogs.

I am Daddy's little girl and he gives me money every couple weeks to make me happy because my home life is so unhappy. I realize this is not a good thing and is a crutch but he also blames himself for what Grandpa did to me (NOT his Dad) and my abuse with my Mom who used me as her personal punching bag of aggression.

My Dad treats me like the most romantic person in the world and people get creeped out by that. Once in a restaurant, they ask if we were husband and wife. I wanted to vomit at the thought, but it is so true. He buys me flowers, cards, movies, anything I ask for, even in passing conversation he picks up on it and buys it for me.

I want to feel passion again and I think I can if I wait long enough.

I love, love, love going to the movies, but HATE HATE HATE going alone. Go figure!

I used to sing, even won first place in a contest, but I went to a Def Leppard concert, screamed too much and blew my vocal cords out, never been the same. I now have cysts on my vocal cords that need to be removed, since they are NOT cancerous, my insurance isn't covering it. Once I get them removed, I believe I could sing again. I used to sing to my Ex-Boyfriend all the time.

I have 4 children, I was pregnant with twins that I lost at 16 weeks gestation and I still mourn them every Sept 12th.

M kids are my life first and foremost. But I am more their best friends than Mom and that is my downfall.

I am told I am a great big door mat.....even just recently.

I have a dark sense of humor and it sometimes offends people and I've lost friends over it. Sometimes my jokes don't even make sense and I think it's even funnier, because I love making people squirm.

I want to learn how to play the guitar but I USED to play the drums with my ex-boyfriend in his band

My favorite flower is the carnation

I love reinventing myself often so I don't get board but deep down I am grunge, punk and kinda emo. I love punk rock, wearing chains and if I could give myself a mohawk, and get away with it, I'd be in my element.

I always wanted to crowd surf

Been to St. Andrew's Hall and never got to crowd surf

Well, I am getting board. If anyone wants to learn anything else about me...post it here and I'll answer.