CHANGE!!!!!

Today, I am going to talk about CHANGE!!!! I don't like this new set up on my blog.

I am thinking about starting a "comedic" blog on my cat called "The Harlow Diaries"

My anonymous friend just made himself unanonymous. He will still always be MA and I will always be Anya on this blog, (for now) but the way I appraoch things and my blog will change.

Alot has been happening. I got rid of the PC virus. I got a body virus in it's place, a spring cold or flu but am well now. I went into a minor depressive state and binged ate for 2 days taking in 3,500 calories a day. I felt horrible. It was like an alcoholic falling "off the wagon" and I HATED myself for it and I just was uncomfortable. My pants got a little tight and I gained 11 pounds. Now, I didn't gain it all just by eating and overindulging. I work out HARD and I developed muscle. It's safe to say my legs are ripped and my arms are semi-ripped and my abs are getting firmer.  However, muscle weighs more than fat, 4 times more, so that has a lot to do with the weight gain. So my 137 weight 2 weeks ago, well, add 11 pounds to that. UGGHHHH!!! But I am still fitting in a size 8, although it's a bit tight, I can put it on and button it up. That's good. I just have to realize that I made 2 mistakes and am back on the saddle again.

My friend/interest, has obviously turned me down. I gave him the letter and he just cut off all communication from me. So, I guess this means NO to the suggestion of our relationship trying to go physical. He's too insecure I think to try something like this now and he's afraid of getting hurt. I understand. He just hasn't gotten around to the concept that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon and therefore shouldn't be a factor. Good thing for me, I am patient and am giving him his time and space. I will email him once or maybe twice a week. I wrote him tonight. So, it will be interesting if he writes back. I still want to hang out with him and see movies, go for lunch and coffee. I am not putting any plan into action. I will just take things as they come. With MA, you just can't plan with him. It's either it will or won't happen and if he is resistant, NO ONE can change him. So don't bother trying. So, I will just wait and see what happens in the future. It will be fun to see what happens and I like how we never plan anything. I wasn't planning on holding his hand in the theater the last time we went. I liked touching his pants and his skin at the knee and he went to touch my hand. That, is a bonus :-) Anyway, I do miss him!

The trampoline is 6 weeks on backorder. It's a good size 15 footer with enclosure. Can't wait to get this. I have a feeling I won't be getting off it and will probably drop more weight. I love keeping active. It's fun and it helps so I don't cut anymore. I do think about food more than I should, so I did take some TrimSpa, and it's NOT working so I am not gonna bother finishing the bottle. It's not worth it. Nothing in there will hurt me!!!! So, maybe I might consider finishing it. Wishy washy huh? I had slightly more energy but I still wanted to eat like a cow!!!!

Well, I finished with my bedding. I cleaned my upstairs apartment up, no more food all over the floor in boxes. I tossed so many magazines I been hoarding. I am a hoarder. I keep thinking that I will need these things. I am saving the recipes mags but other than that, all else is trashed. Clutter GONE!!! CHANGE! CHANGE! CHANGE! I have 2 large open rooms now and all my things are upstairs. I feel free and liberated.

Well, this is all for now. I took a little break, needed to rethink my path on this blog and if I want to expose myself. For now, I am chosing not to. In the future, I may reveal who I am. I don't have many followers as I have drive by readers/lurkers.

Have a good night!
Anya!